Yesterday morning I awoke after another long and satisfactory night of semi-hibernation. Using what little energy left inside of me, I rolled over to my right and leaned down to grab my iPad. Seeing one of only a few power outlets is located next to my bed, I thought it to be a proper location for recharging purposes, to ensure many pleasurable early morning news-reading sessions. Repositioning myself into a comfortable and ergonomically correct position, I unlocked my iPad and noticed something peculiar. The battery was almost dead.
Surely it must have been me at fault. Like a child trying to jam his wooden rectangular toy into its uncorresponding circular socket, I frustratingly started ramming the adapter piece into my iPad. Still no response. After brief further investigation, I had found the reason for my agony. Tiny scratch and bite marks rendered the apparently very fragile piece of equipment useless.
|Youthful suspect Bill Gates*|
Given the evidence, I had a certain individual of the rabbit kind in mind, but I still needed clarity. I walked downstairs and stood eye-to-eye with our culprit. As time stretched in seemingly infite ways, tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up straight like a mob of meerkats scanning the surface of the Kalahari Desert. Anger was surging through my veins and wicked thoughts nearly got the best of me, until in the back of my mind I started hearing Art Garfunkel singing Bright Eyes, conjuring up long lost images of hares in terrible agony (Watership Down has one hell of an impact on an angsty 16-year old).
After turning the other cheek I headed downtown to replace the tampered-with original. Woefully, I soon found out that a new cable would set me back a whopping thirty euro's. Several lessons are to be learned from this peculiar day. One: Steve Jobs is a ripoff. Two: Bunnies prefer Windows. Third: The price for replacing a cable is higher than the price for replacing a bunny.